i'm sick and tired to feel sorry for myself for not doing every little thing my soul told me to do, for not taking every little breadcrumb my life offered.
i'm tired of my passiveness, of leting things happen and not taking any measures against it.
i'm sorry:
- for the sunrises i have missed;
- for the green i did not see
- for the nights i have slept
- for the world i did not loved
- for the sea i did not bathe in
- for the world i hated
- for the promises i did not kept
- for the sky i did not kissed
- for the smells i refused to inhale
- for the days i spend not thinking
- for the things i did not wrote
- for the languages i did not spoke
- for the joys i took away
- for the toys i broke
- for the girls i made cry
this is my declaration of independence.
i decided to have it my own way. it's true, i have regrets, i have sorrows and setbacks. i'm not saying that i left all of this behind. it's impossible to cut parts from your soul and throw them away. in fact if i think about it, this is what makes us humans. we are defined both by pain and pleasure, regrets and feelings of accomplishment. it is sad though that in our own dual existence it is room for hate.
(i know, I've repeated myself in the last part, but get used to it, if you continue to read these things i write here, you will find this very often: man is full of hate.)
revolution is happening. it is here, it is now. no turning back now. the quest for money is over, the journey for love and soul has begun. no more lying to myself that this is the way it is supposed to be. no more lying to the others. no more bithcing about petty and meaningless things in my existence. I'm done with it. no more sorry for i will do, no more stupid and tangled excuses for anything. this is the beginning of both my independence and war with myself. me, my greatest enemy :) .
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